Beyonce gives seventh-grade girls more unwarranted validation

Beyonce is a excellent stage-performer with absolutely extraordinary singing ability. This, supplemented by the fact that she often works with some of the best and most innovative producers around, (note, I said "often" works with talented producers; occasionally she strays *cough* Swizz Beatz *cough*) causes Beyonce to definitely stand apart from most of her mainstream counterparts. Fortunately for her (and most successful artists), however, mainstream music is rarely, if ever, judged by its actual lyrics or message; or else someone may have taken her to task for her lyrical doggerel or, more importantly, her career-long barrage of sassy sexism disguised as feminist uplift.

Her latest man-bash is the most overt yet; the sweetly sung "If I Were A Boy", in which she--much like in many of her songs--reduces the entire male species to an innately inconsiderate, womanizing, emotionally-impaired collection of cavemen.

Q. Perhaps she's referring to a specific situation, and not incriminating the entire male species?
A. Nope. The song is called "If I Were a Boy", not "If I Were [insert name of trifling negro]". The song, by the title lyric alone, is specifically attempting to associate certain negative behaviors with being a "Boy", while at the same time painting women as being ever-grateful, helpful, forgiving, compassionate, and logical (especially in the music video).

The appeal of "If I Were A Boy" is the same allure that draws teenage girls to romantic drama films: the exaggerated Lifetime-esque victimization of women by the big bad wolf called the "man"; specifically crafted to appeal to the modern American woman, which further widens the emotional gap between men and women when men don't seem to "get it". Well of course we don't get it, it's not made for us to get. Much like how many women don't "get" why men enjoy watching uniformed men throw each other around. The difference is, we don't let the results of football games dictate our life's decisions. Well, most of us, anyway.

Q. Well, what about male rappers? Don't they say sexist stuff all the time?
A. Rappers consistently objectify women (which is not necessarily sexist), but they almost never literally say, or even imply "Women are bad and men are good" (the vice-versa of which Beyonce does in "If I Were a Boy").


I've even heard comments in praise of the track saying that the song succeeds in touching on something that every woman in a relationship has to deal with. Really. Every one? Really? I'm going to burst a big bubble here so be prepared: Guess what? Men aren't inherently inconsiderate. Not even a majority. Not even close. What's happening is something that's been documented and theorized by sociologists and psychologists alike. Society, and American society in general has remarkably unrealistic expectations of its people, and interestingly enough; a lot of these expectations are promoted by women. Even the ones on other women. That whole "gotta look exactly like a model" business? That's all women. Men don't give a shit if you've got a little cellulite or whether your a B cup or a D cup. We mostly care that A. you're not psycho. B. you're not diseased or otherwise fucked up. and C. you have a vagina.

Complimenting that is the "Prince Charming" expecations in place for men in relationships (which, not surprisingly, is mainly reenforced--and possibly invented--by the entertainment industry). You're expected to score a perfect A plus on the Matthew Mcconaughey quiz for male-worthiness, lest you be the subject of your woman's next social therapy session with her friends. This i.e unrealistic expectations, if I had to guess, is probably the seond leading cause of break-ups (not really knowing the person you're getting involved with is probably number one).

The situation described in "If I Were A Boy" doesn't happen most of the time. It does in the movies, of course, but most men--and most people in general-- are honest, hard-working, imperfect human beings that don't find pleasure in trampling on other people's emotions. I think humans often substitute Hollywood for our real lives when we nod our heads to songs like this one. But in many ways, that is understandable, because, after all, Prince Charming exists in Hollywood.